It feels like we’re all sold the same dream as we grow up–climb the corporate ladder, rake in the dough, pop out a few kids, and eventually retire somewhere sunny. Unhealthy work boundaries? Nah.
But the reality? The corporate ladder feels more like a never-ending treadmill. And whoever sold us on this dream clearly forgot to mention that kids are a metric fuck ton of work. The whole “grind ’til you drop” thing? It doesn’t guarantee success. There are about a bazillion factors at play, and most of them are out of your control. Before we know it, we end up like squirrels on steroids–frantically hoarding nuts without ever stopping to enjoy a single acorn.
It’s time to hit pause and rethink our boundaries before we all lose our minds.
Recognizing the Signs of Unhealthy Work Boundaries
We’ve all been there–rest assured no shade is being thrown here. We put email on our phones, then we add Slack, we start shooting off a few messages at dinner, NBD, and before we know it we’re typing paragraphs from bed at midnight and work tasks are infiltrating our dreams. It’s a slippery slope.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve already got a sneaking suspicion your work boundaries are not on point. But if this work-life blur snuck up on you, here are some dead giveaways:
- You’re Always “On Call” (And Not in a Cool Doctor Way):
- If your boss can reach you anytime, anywhere, you’ve got a problem.
- Overworking Feels Honorable:
- Hustle culture glorifies burnout. Skipping meals, working late, and stuffing your schedule? Not a badge of honor.
- Family Time? What’s That?
- If you’re canceling plans more often than your kids change their favorite color, it’s time to reassess.
How Unhealthy Work Boundaries Affect Your Kids
Kids notice more than we give them credit for.
- They are little detectives: You think you’re slick, sneaking a peek at your phone while your 5-year-old asks you to watch them move rocks from one pile to the next? Think again. Kids can smell distraction from a mile away, and they are savage. They will call you on it.
- There’s a competition for attention: When a kid is competing with a laptop for your attention, it’s a crappy feeling. And trust me, they notice. When we shove them aside for work, it’s like telling them they’re second-best. Ouch.
This is hard as hell, but you can do it.
This adulting gig is hard as hell, but you’ve got this. We’re not here to shame anyone–that’s not our jam. Really, it shouldn’t be anyone’s jam. Not to mention, it would be hypocritical AF. I have to remind myself not to do these things embarrassingly often. Anyone who claims they never struggle with this is either lying or living under a rock without Wi-Fi.
We don’t need to transform overnight. Baby steps. Let’s accept that technology has made our lives both easier and more complicated. The key is finding that sweet spot where we can be kick-ass parents and professionals without losing our minds (or our kids’ attention) in the process.
Why We Struggle with Setting Work Boundaries
Most of us probably already know we struggle with boundaries. But we don’t exactly know how to overcome it, or even, why we struggle in the first place. Think about this:
Fear of Falling Behind
Sometimes we worry that if we’re not always available, someone else will swoop in and steal our spotlight. But being glued to your phone doesn’t equal dedication—it equals burnout. You can be available 24/7 and still not get that promotion.
The Pressure to Be a Super Parent
Society’s impossible standards tell us we need to crush it at both work and home. So we’re out here bragging to our work buddies about our Pinterest-worthy family dinners, while telling our parent friends about our killer presentations. It’s all BS. This cycle of trying to impress everyone is about as productive as reasoning with a hangry toddler.
The Blur of Home Office Life
Thanks to remote work, the line between work and home is blurrier than ever. You’re checking emails while brushing your teeth, and Slack notifications are pinging during soccer practice. What even is “clocking out” anymore?
What We Lose With Poor Work-Life Balance
Sure, being a dedicated employee is great, but what about all we are sacrificing?
- Time with the kids (you know, the reason you’re working so hard)
- Your Sanity
- Sleep
- Hobbies (remember those?)
- Health (stress is a killer—literally)
Balancing work and family is tough. But here’s the thing: You can’t be a rockstar parent or employee if you’re running on empty. Work-life balance isn’t just a fancy buzzword–it’s literally the key to not losing your mind.
How to Set Healthy Work Boundaries
To create change that we can actually benefit from, we have to be willing to draw lines in the sand. Note: you don’t have to give up your career or professional goals. The fact is, our career is still a big part of who we are. And that’s totally okay. You can, and should, have your own professional aspirations. And at the same time, give yourself some damn grace.
Step 1: Identify Your Non-Negotiables
- What’s off-limits? For example, in my house, family dinners are sacred. No work allowed. After dinner? Playtime. The kids choose the activity, and we’re fully present.
- Communicate these boundaries to your boss and team without guilt. And practice saying “no”. Try, “That won’t work for me.” No need to explain.
Step 2: Work With Technology (Not Against It)
- Turn off notifications after hours, and resist the urge to check in. Unless you’re a healthcare professional on call, it can wait.
- Let your team know you’re not ignoring them, you’re just off-duty, watching you kid ride his bike around the cul de sac for the 50th time.
- Teach your kids to be the “phone police”—they’ll love holding you accountable.
Step 3: Create a Clear Work/Home Separation
- Set strict working hours. Whether you’re remote or in-office, when you’re home, you’re home.
- Have a designated workspace if you work from home. Physically separate your work life from your home life. It’s a good signal to your brain–sometimes our brain needs a little help differentiating.
- Develop end-of-day rituals to mentally clock out—whether it’s turning off your laptop, blasting music, or working out. Find what helps you transition.
Step 4: The Power of Good Enough
- Perfection is overrated. And it’s exhausting. Aim for “good enough” instead.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself. You can’t be in two places at once (physically or mentally).
- Celebrate small wins. Got your kid off to school on time and remembered to take notes during your morning meeting? That’s enough.
Keep reminding yourself, you aren’t being difficult–you’re protecting your sanity (which ultimately makes you more productive anyway). And you are not alone in this quest.
Bonus tip: Delegate tasks to your spouse, kids, family, or friends. When we join forces, we all win.
Master the Art of the Pivot
Setting boundaries is an ongoing battle. Life throws curveballs, kids get sick, and schedules shift. So, your strategies need to be flexible.
Don’t be afraid to pivot. Adjust as life happens, and don’t ever feel guilty about protecting your time.
Remember: You’re not just creating boundaries for yourself—you’re modeling them for your kids too.
Take Back Control
Unhealthy work boundaries are like that clingy toddler phase—if you don’t create a strategy, they’ll consume your life. But the good news? You can bring about change. Set the boundaries, protect your time, and remember, it’s not selfish—it’s survival. Your future self (and your kids) will thank you.
